If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
