I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
