and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize