Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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