she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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