I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
