did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Randomize
