Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
