I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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