Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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