how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My breasts were aching with rage.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
