just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
