You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
