dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
