we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Your cock deserves a montage
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
