Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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