Don't you send me to vm
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize