C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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