i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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