we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
