There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
