shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
