i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
