This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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