so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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