Non-Jews are for practice
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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