living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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