I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
