I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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