You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
love makes seman taste better
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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