guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
