you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
