I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
