So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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