just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
