This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We talked him into tasing himself.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
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This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
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I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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