Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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