ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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