Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
And then he peed in my hair
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