I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
