how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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