I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
