New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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