The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
