I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
