I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
