im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
