Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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