I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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