her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
