I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Mom said you looked used
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
