I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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