he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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