You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
