Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
