Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
