I wish I could punch you in the face.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
