Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
