just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize