Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
