how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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