I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
