was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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