I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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