I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
