Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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